How to Get a Date


So the other day, my friend called me asexual, because I don’t like anyone.  The truth is, I don’t like anyone because all people are stupid.  Even the smart ones.  If I’m going to date someone, they have to be super special, and awesome.  Recently I have found my one true love.  Unfortunately, he doesnt exist.  But now I know exactly how a you can get a date.

The one and only rule is to stop the being yourself crap.  Be someone awesome at first, not your boring normal self. Be yourself after you get the date, if you do it before and they don’t like you, then you have no date.  If you pretend to be better than you are, then you get the date.  It’s science.  If you already are awesome, then I’m jealous of you.  If you want to know how to act, just stalk them.  Figure out their dream guy, or girl, and pretend to be that.  (like if they really like Harry Potter, just dress up like him, and ask them out, who would say no to that)  I wouldn’t pick pretending to be someone that really exists, that’s too hard, and people who are real are boring.  I’d be someone from their favorite video game.  The closer you are to their favorite animated character, the more they’ll like you.

Basically that’s all you have to do to get a date.  Pretend to be a video game character.  That’s it.  Honestly, if someone acted and looked like my favorite character, I’d date them in a second, no questions asked.  Ps, the picture at the top isn’t my favorite video game character (he’s way to ugly)



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